Refusing to Inhale

[This I wrote in my Calculus 2 notebook. I usually write little thoughts and quotes in it at random to keep myself from stabbing my pencil into the main artery at my throat. Things like: 'Am I dead yet? Is this hell?'; 'I have no one to blame but myself.'; and 'How the hell was I supposed to know I was meant to do that on the test?!']

Never would I have believed that it would come to this...

to this moment without logic.
to this moment without clarity.
to this moment without reason.
to this moment where I refuse to breathe.

How have I become this?
How have I reached this?
How will I ever be able to turn around and pretened that all is right?

Will this move to a moment of insinceritity?
Become a moment of great hilarity
When I realized the creation and demise of everything I ever thought it could be.

There are many who govern without heart,
create without mind and live without passion.

Can I rule the world without inclination?

Not likely...

I have reached that moment where I refuse to breathe.