Ho ho ho... dammit pass the rum

A pirate’s life for me?

Arrr, your booty shivers me timbers.

That was a line that I thought would never be applied to me. Sure, it was a funny little flirty line on yahell messenger and one some of my online friends would send me for shits and giggles. However, yesterday, I was actually a pirate. (According to my uncle, I looked more like a gypsy.)

Allow me to explain the situation. My little brother turned nine yesterday and, like most child parties, it had a theme. (So far we have had Winnie the Pooh, Harry Potter, Superheroes and Spiderman) This year it was decided that we would have a pirate themed party and that it was actually going to BE a party. Invitations were sent by the dozens, things were ordered over the internet by the dozens and food was bought and planned. Like the years before, it was also decided that I was to dress up for this party. Why purchase entertainment when they have me?

In result, I have to fabricate some sort of costume out of whatever I could find and say I was a pirate. After everything was said and done, I can say that the party was a success. Thanks in a large part because of me and my beloved ‘husband’. Kids ran around, pirates were made, water balloons were thrown, water fights were had, a lot of food was consumed, and I feel like I got beaten with a stick.

We sat down and here’s the final count:
70 people participated in the festivities of which about 21 were kids, 18 were mostly from the age of 7 to 11.
Approximately 60lbs of meat (2 pork shoulders, 1 turkey, hot dogs, chicken thighs and ground beef)
7lbs of bread
2 packages of macaroni salad
10lbs of red potatoes
1lb of baby carrots
4 super sized bags of chips
2lbs of sour cream
3lbs of cream cheese
2lbs of coleslaw
1lb of rice
1 very large cake
1 extremely large tub of vanilla ice cream
several pounds of fruit combined to make fruit salad
several liters of soda, water and alcohol
250 water balloons
and I’m sure that I’m forgetting something…. So tons of whatever I have missed


Most of the people who actually worked the event didn’t get a chance to eat the food that took so much time and effort to prepare. But… looking back, a great time was had (By others, certainly not by me). I put into practice the fake smile we have spent many years perfecting to be in front of cameras. I also learned how to evade questions about my dear friend in front of all my family. Have they forgotten that I’m 19 and willingly single? Seems they have. I’m old by family standards. I should have run off and be pregnant by now. But I’m not… what a shame. Guess that’s what family is all about.