Romance Novel Laudation

(Read during the Border's Pastice Open Mike)

Enter my world for just a glimpse.

Tell me your fantasy and I could lend you a book.
Tell me your dream date, I could still lend you yet another book,
Or at the very least recommend a few must reads.

I can welcome you to a world where love conquers all, even through the worst trials and tribulations, there WILL be a happy ending.
Even if he doesn't love her at first, or rather, does but doesn't know it while she refuses to admit her own love much less his love for her. Meanwhile everyone else has gotten the fact that they are madly in love yet are complete idiots for never realizing to be possible.

It truly is possible... isn't it?
The very possible idea that he can be a noble, pirate, surgeon, artist, poet, leader among men, true horseman, undercover spy, rancher, lawyer, professor, mercenary, scientist, accountant, playboy, and over all tall, dark and handsome. Let me not forget that they are.... well... endowed and can last all night in the heat of passion.

Meanwhile she is petite, fiery, demure, homely, wise beyond her years, gentle lady, pirate doxy, stacked like a bar wench, curves in all the right places, maternal, flirty, flighty, dependable, carefree with the waist the span of an ant that tapers to impossibly round hips. Therefore being the most beautiful, confusing, dazzling, frustrating, virginal ball of lust and passion he has ever encountered and must keep at all costs.

And no matter how wildly different, they will madly and fully complete each other's sense of being.
Two halves to one whole.

For that they must not look alike, to do so would only complete the narcissistic ideal of falling in love with oneself.
So he must have dark hair, she must be blonde or maybe a redhead but then he should be blonde.
Perhaps a bit of honey brown reddish gold?
Then eyes that flash with love and passion with every emotion: blue with gold, green with blue, blue they are almost purple, brown that resound in chocolate velvet.
Whatever the shade, they will bewitch and entrance.

Now, let me transport you back in time.
Since we are pretending about time and place, let's pretend that the story is actually believable.
And that soulmates do exist.
And that the untamed beauty of love only heightens the rugged untamed beauty of nature.
And that exists a moment where the world stands still...
bliss and fulfillment exist...
for that... heart throbbing... breath stopping... awe inspiring... pulse racing... earth splintering... star glittering... passion blazing... kiss.
That, and the sex, or rather the art of love making, was really good too.

If only it ended there, but what's the fun in that?
No, after the forces of love drive the couple together, those same forces bring the world against them.
The fact that they only met because some business deal got personal, followed by kidnap, rape, suspense, mystery and intrigue.
Leaving us with the question of "Isn't this enough already? Shouldn't they be together by now?"
But then there must be a jealous lover, meddling families and chaotic schedules that just make one believe that there just isn't any room in our pessimistic minds and hearts for love.

Yet, I do not resign myself to a world where love must have SO many obstacles.
Still, after so much frustration, they will live happily ever after.
The jaded determined playboy bachelor suddenly realizes that love makes him invincible.
The fiery temptress is tamed, docile and usually pregnant, content with her new role in life.

If only real life, when it comes to love, came in a neat little paperback...
That we all locked like supermodels, or at the very least a prettier version of ourselves.
Discard the genre of romance novels as any form of literature if you will but you cannot resist that ideal scenario where romance exists, love blooms and changes people and your significant other is your all...

*Swoon*